I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we're making bets on your personal life
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
