The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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