pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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