he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
