jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
