I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
