the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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