We're facebook friends in real life
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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