His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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