Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
