Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
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