Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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