It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
