You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you would pick up someone in the library
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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