You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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