she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
