Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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