I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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