Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
