HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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