I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
