I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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