I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
