ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
