It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Enjoy the penises
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
