Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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