So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
