she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
