I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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