you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
