worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
