You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
