plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
