I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
