He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
