Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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