Sry I called you an 8
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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