Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
