He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
