if only i could text you this smell
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
