I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
