do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
