I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've blown a few things in my day
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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