this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
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