do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
