Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
