Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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