We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
