She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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