Kiss
Puke
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
