i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
